In America we eat man semen.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize