even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
