My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
