Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize