WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
