i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
