she was so not down for the gang bang
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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