Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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