the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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