They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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