It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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