he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
