a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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