it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
