ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
