wanna go halves on a baby?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize