he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
