Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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