The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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