I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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