My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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