I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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