Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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