I just made out with a guy for $7.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
