I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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