Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i need some magic done to my vagina
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