haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
