The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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