her vagine was all disorganized.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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