Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
