Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.

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  (727): He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple. http://tfl.nu/vn0p
  Replies (34) Good night (822) Bad night (12296) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

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  (647): You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep http://tfl.nu/2p4s
  Replies (17) Good night (5496) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

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  (716): she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/eill
  Replies (29) Good night (6339) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.

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  (585): you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation. http://tfl.nu/l508
  Replies (6) Good night (1619) Bad night (3294) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its only a rough draft.

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  (513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud
  Replies (10) Good night (3720) Bad night (693)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.

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  (716): Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him. http://tfl.nu/tozm
  Replies (10) Good night (3168) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.

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  (217): haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it. http://tfl.nu/2m8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3858) Bad night (588)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog

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  (713): It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog http://tfl.nu/4hna
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (3292) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping

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  (845): Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping http://tfl.nu/4jdo
  Replies (12) Good night (645) Bad night (2362) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like everything in this room is sweating

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  (506): I feel like everything in this room is sweating http://tfl.nu/iaml
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.

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  (775): Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/op0y
  Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.

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  (402): I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody. http://tfl.nu/us3z
  Replies (5) Good night (570) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

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  (765): Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater. http://tfl.nu/rsqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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  (818): Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC. http://tfl.nu/yps0
  Replies (9) Good night (1908) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.

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  (908): She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears. http://tfl.nu/al07
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt

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