If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
