i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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