im drinking this country out of the recession.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
