KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
