I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
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I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.