I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to make a zoo with you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.