No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
