I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
