Me too!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
