Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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