We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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