Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
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He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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