champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
