I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
