foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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