bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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