it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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