he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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