talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
