Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
