I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
