what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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