They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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