I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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