Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize