Whod you bang
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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