He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
