No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
