Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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