Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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