is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
