Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
