That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
