i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
